The 24-hour rule for calmer conflicts

[WORLD] It’s a familiar scenario: a quick remark, a tense reaction, or a minor misunderstanding with a partner can unexpectedly spark a major argument.

When emotions run high, the urge to speak impulsively can be overwhelming—often turning a small disagreement into a significant confrontation. But emerging research in emotional psychology suggests that a moment of pause could be the key to diffusing tension before it escalates.

Studies from the Gottman Institute reveal that couples who intentionally pause during conflict are 30% more likely to resolve disputes constructively. This supports the growing popularity of conflict management strategies such as the “24-hour rule,” which encourages partners to delay their response in emotionally charged situations.

While everyday friction is normal in relationships, experts say some conflicts could be better managed—or even avoided altogether—by simply allowing time to cool off before responding.

American psychologist Mark Travers, a specialist in couples therapy, recommends the “24-hour rule” as a practical tool to prevent arguments from spiraling. Though the idea of a cooling-off period isn’t new, Travers tailors the concept to the unique dynamics of romantic relationships, where emotional reactions are often more intense and deeply rooted.

The principle is straightforward: if a disagreement or emotionally charged exchange occurs, wait 24 hours before responding. This window of time allows individuals to regulate their emotions and gain perspective before engaging again.

“The purpose isn’t to avoid important conversations, but to approach them with a clearer head,” Travers explained. “The 24-hour rule gives us space to reflect, reduce emotional intensity, and respond more thoughtfully.”

His approach aligns with findings in neuroscience showing that the brain’s prefrontal cortex—the region responsible for rational thinking—becomes less active during emotional distress. Taking time out allows the nervous system to reset, lowers cortisol levels, and helps pave the way for more balanced dialogue.

What should you do during this waiting period? Travers recommends engaging in calming or creative activities—such as meditation, writing, yoga, painting, or a walk—to help shift your focus and ease emotional tension.

“These practices help separate the core issue from the initial emotional surge,” he says. “They allow you to re-evaluate the situation with a clearer, more objective lens.”

The benefits of the 24-hour rule aren’t limited to romantic relationships. The same principle can be applied to conflicts with family, friends, or colleagues. In fact, similar “pause strategies” are gaining traction in workplace settings. A 2023 report from the Society for Human Resource Management found that employees who delayed responses during conflicts reported higher job satisfaction and lower stress levels.

“When you pause intentionally, you move from a reactive mindset to a proactive one,” Travers notes. “This shift not only improves conflict resolution but also strengthens emotional intelligence—a crucial skill in both personal and professional relationships.”