Are you proud when you succeed, or are you just relieved?

[WORLD] Success is often hailed as the ultimate goal, but the emotions that accompany it are more complex than most people realize. For some, achieving a personal milestone or professional goal brings a profound sense of pride. For others, the feeling might be more akin to relief—relief that the hard work and pressure are finally over. This emotional divide has sparked interest among psychologists, who are increasingly examining why success can evoke different emotional responses. Whether you're celebrating a long-awaited promotion, completing a challenging project, or crossing off a personal goal, understanding how we react to success can shed light on broader issues related to self-worth, expectation, and personal growth.

The Complex Nature of Success

Success is often portrayed as a singular emotion—elation, pride, or joy. But a growing body of research suggests that many people experience success with a blend of emotions, particularly relief. For instance, individuals who have faced ongoing stress or pressure leading up to an achievement may not feel the soaring satisfaction they expected. Instead, they may find themselves simply thankful the pressure is over.

Psychologist Dr. Susan Brooks, a leading expert in emotional well-being, explains, “When people face high levels of stress, success may feel more like the end of a burden rather than a triumph.” This can be particularly true for those who are juggling multiple responsibilities or who have invested a great deal of emotional energy into their goals.

Pride vs. Relief: What’s the Difference?

To better understand this dichotomy, it’s important to distinguish between the emotions of pride and relief. Pride is often associated with a deep sense of accomplishment, self-esteem, and validation. It’s the emotional reward of knowing that your efforts have led to something meaningful. People who experience pride in their successes are typically those who set goals that align with their values or long-term ambitions.

Relief, on the other hand, is a more passive emotion. It stems from the cessation of discomfort or anxiety. When someone has been under significant pressure or dealing with intense challenges, their sense of relief at achieving success may overshadow the feeling of pride. In these cases, the achievement is less about the joy of accomplishment and more about escaping a stressful or taxing situation.

How Expectations Play a Role

The emotional response to success can also depend heavily on expectations. High achievers, for example, may be more likely to feel relief than pride because they have set very high standards for themselves. Once the goal is met, they may simply feel that they have met the baseline expectation, rather than exceeding it.

In contrast, people with more modest expectations or those who view success as a journey rather than a destination may experience greater pride. For them, success is seen as a validation of their effort and a stepping stone in a broader life plan.

Dr. Brooks adds, “When individuals set realistic or attainable goals, the feeling of pride is often more prevalent. However, when the goals are extremely high or the journey has been fraught with difficulties, the feeling of relief is often more powerful, as the person is finally free from the weight of expectation.”

Cultural and Social Influences on Success

Cultural norms and societal pressures can also impact how individuals experience success. In many cultures, success is deeply tied to external validation—accomplishments are celebrated by peers, family, or society. In these environments, pride may be more likely, as individuals feel supported and validated by the recognition they receive.

However, in cultures where failure is stigmatized or where success is solely expected of an individual, the pressure can overshadow any feeling of pride. In such cases, success may be more about avoiding failure than achieving something worthy of pride. This dynamic can lead to feelings of relief rather than elation.

The Role of Personal Growth and Self-Compassion

While relief is a valid emotional response to success, experts encourage individuals to consider the role of personal growth and self-compassion in shaping their feelings. People who view success as part of their ongoing journey, rather than a final destination, are more likely to feel pride and satisfaction. Similarly, those who practice self-compassion and recognize their own efforts, regardless of the outcome, tend to experience pride more consistently.

“Self-compassion helps individuals acknowledge their own efforts and progress, which fosters a sense of pride, even when success is hard-earned,” says Dr. Anna Reed, a clinical psychologist who specializes in self-worth and resilience.

A Balance Between Pride and Relief

While both pride and relief are valid emotional responses, finding a balance can be key to maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Research suggests that those who allow themselves to feel both pride in their accomplishments and relief from the stress they’ve overcome are more likely to experience lasting satisfaction from their achievements.

“Sometimes, the journey to success is grueling,” explains Dr. Reed. “It’s natural to feel relief when it’s over, but allowing yourself to experience pride in the process, not just the result, can help reinforce a positive, healthy relationship with success.”

At the end of the day, how we feel about success is a deeply personal experience. Whether it’s the joy of pride or the calm of relief, both emotions are valid and play an important role in our overall sense of achievement. Understanding why we feel the way we do about our successes can help us navigate our personal and professional journeys with more clarity and compassion.

For those seeking to cultivate a stronger sense of pride in their accomplishments, psychologists recommend setting goals that align with personal values, practicing self-compassion, and acknowledging the effort involved, rather than solely focusing on the outcome. Success isn’t just about the result—it’s also about the journey, the growth, and the lessons learned along the way.