The hidden cost of concealing pride at work

Most teams say they want people to “take pride in their work.” But what happens when expressing that pride quietly erodes trust, rather than strengthening it?

New research from Wharton professor Rebecca Schaumberg uncovers a fragile tension many leaders miss: when an employee shares pride in something others deem minor or unimpressive, they risk being seen as less competent—not more. In early-stage teams, where identity and belonging are tightly coupled with performance, that perception can fracture dynamics before founders even realize it’s happening.

This isn’t just a behavioral quirk. It’s a design flaw in how success is socially processed in organizations.

Schaumberg’s studies show something subtle but corrosive: workers regularly hold back expressions of pride out of fear. Fear of looking boastful. Fear of downplaying others’ contributions. But also—crucially—fear of being judged incompetent for celebrating something “not big enough.”

When 25% of participants said they concealed pride because it might make them seem less capable, that’s not insecurity. That’s a system responding to unspoken cultural feedback.

In early teams, where everyone is still figuring out what counts as success, that silence becomes costly. If nobody voices what matters to them, norms don’t form. Standards stay fuzzy. Emotional safety degrades. And knowledge—especially the kind that helps others replicate small but meaningful wins—gets trapped.

Most recognition systems in startups are too coarse. We celebrate funding rounds or product launches but ignore the micro-achievements: resolving a client issue, shipping a bug fix, handling a tough call with empathy.

When pride becomes performative—only safe to express if the crowd agrees it’s worth it—it stops serving its actual purpose: reinforcing internal motivation, identity, and team connection.

So how do you make room for pride that’s personal?

Start with structure. Teams need built-in rituals that normalize reflection and sharing, without requiring applause. Think: a Slack thread for “small proud moments this week.” A check-in question that asks, “What are you quietly proud of?” A team retro that includes personal wins—not just sprint metrics.

These aren’t vanity exercises. They’re systems design. Done well, they clarify what matters beyond KPIs and create a more resilient culture of mutual respect.

One of Schaumberg’s deeper insights is that the perception of pride is often shaped by socialization and background. What one person sees as a huge step forward—say, speaking up in a meeting—another might dismiss as expected.

Without awareness of that divergence, pride becomes another axis of unconscious bias. Leaders must actively broaden the definition of success, or they risk reinforcing norms that sideline the very people they claim to empower.

Inclusion isn’t just about who’s on the team. It’s about whose stories get to be shared, and whose wins are allowed to matter.

When pride goes unspoken, culture suffers in silence. You lose learning loops. You lose clarity on what motivates people. And you lose the very human signals that build trust in early teams.

So the next time someone on your team expresses pride in something small, don’t assess whether it’s “impressive enough.” Ask what made it matter to them. Because if we only reward the loud wins, we’re designing a culture where quiet progress disappears.