How communication filters undermine leadership without you realizing

Image Credits: UnsplashImage Credits: Unsplash

A founder once asked me why her team kept misreading her feedback. She wasn’t being harsh. She wasn’t even rushing. But every time she tried to guide, someone pulled back.

It wasn’t tone. It wasn’t timing. It was the filter.

Early-stage leaders often assume their intent will travel cleanly. That if they speak clearly, they’ll be understood. But communication is never clean. It’s always passing through something else—something invisible. Personal filters shaped by past workplaces, cultural norms, family dynamics, and even school trauma.

When leaders don’t design for these filters, misalignment becomes the norm. Feedback becomes threat. Silence becomes resentment. And good intentions, over time, turn into system debt.

Lauren—let’s call her that—was mentoring a team of younger women. Gen Z and Millennials. She meant well. She wanted to guide, support, help them avoid the same isolation she faced early in her career. She gave advice freely. She pointed out what could be better.

But one of her mentees pulled away. Withdrew. Got defensive.

On the surface, it looked like resistance. But under the surface was something else: a history of performance anxiety, built in a previous job where every “suggestion” was a warning. That lens hadn’t left her. So when Lauren offered feedback, it didn’t land as care. It landed as attack.

Feedback is a feedback loop. The moment it stops cycling—when the giver pulls back out of frustration or the receiver hardens into defensiveness—trust erodes. Clarity stalls. Execution slows.

For Lauren’s team, it began to affect morale. The coaching that once energized now confused. The dynamic shifted from mentoring to misinterpretation. Not because of what was said—but because of what wasn’t understood.

We teach founders to use Filter Checks in high-trust, high-feedback teams. It’s not therapy. It’s system clarity. Three diagnostic steps:

  1. Signal Intent Before the Message
    Don’t assume tone travels. Say, “This is a suggestion to strengthen—not a critique of value.”
  2. Ask, Don’t Assume, the Filter
    “How does this kind of feedback land for you? Are you used to this style?”
  3. Align on Impact, Not Just Content
    After the conversation, debrief: “Did that feel supportive, or did it hit differently?”

Over time, this rewires the loop. Feedback becomes safer to give—and easier to receive.

If your best advice is getting misread, what lens is it passing through? And what filter of your own might be distorting what you're hearing in return? Early teams are built on history—ours and theirs. When culture is forming, everything is signal. A raised eyebrow, a delayed reply, a skipped greeting—all of it gets interpreted through past lenses.

Founders often think their words are clear. But clarity isn’t what you say. It’s what survives the filters.

So the question isn’t, “Did I communicate well?”
It’s, “Was I received the way I intended—and did I design for that?”


Ad Banner
Advertisement by Open Privilege
Careers
Image Credits: Unsplash
CareersJune 16, 2025 at 2:30:00 PM

Networking tips for recent grads living at home

Living at home after graduation can feel like an awkward in-between. You’re no longer a student—but not yet part of a company, coworking...

Culture
Image Credits: Unsplash
CultureJune 16, 2025 at 2:00:00 PM

Why workplace gratitude deserves a system, not a speech

There’s a reason gratitude rituals appear in both wellness culture and high-trust workplaces: they change how teams function. Not by forcing positivity, but...

Culture
Image Credits: Unsplash
CultureJune 15, 2025 at 11:00:00 PM

Why flexible schedules can break you

It doesn’t show up all at once. At first, it feels like a win: no 9-to-5 boundaries, no commute, no one clocking your...

Culture
Image Credits: Unsplash
CultureJune 15, 2025 at 10:30:00 PM

Why strategic renewal in working parents is a hidden professional asset

There’s a tension that shows up in the inbox, the grocery run, the overdue email, and the school pickup line. Founders feel it....

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementJune 15, 2025 at 10:30:00 PM

When your mind goes silent, your system is overloaded—not broken

You freeze mid-sentence. Words vanish. You lose your train of thought. It’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s embarrassing. But here’s the truth: this is not...

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementJune 15, 2025 at 10:00:00 PM

How to apologize sincerely (and avoid making it worse)

Apologies are awkward, vulnerable, and deeply human. They’re also kind of a mess. Especially online, where performative "notes app" statements and PR-scripted regret...

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementJune 15, 2025 at 9:30:00 PM

How to build a personal brand on LinkedIn that sticks

We used to roll our eyes at the phrase personal brand. It smelled too much like hustle culture’s cologne—loud, curated, a bit desperate....

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementJune 11, 2025 at 2:30:00 PM

How to avoid doomscrolling at your workplace

Doomscrolling isn’t just a personal vice. It’s often the byproduct of a system that’s quietly misfiring. When ownership is vague, time is unstructured,...

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementJune 9, 2025 at 5:00:00 PM

How to stand up for yourself without feeling like a villain

You’ve probably told your friend to ask for the raise. Or urged your mom to get a second opinion. No hesitation. No guilt....

Self Improvement
Image Credits: Unsplash
Self ImprovementMay 30, 2025 at 5:00:00 PM

Stoic resilience for modern challenges

[WORLD] In a world that often urges us to "feel all the feels," Stoicism offers a powerful alternative: the art of transforming setbacks...

Culture
Image Credits: Unsplash
CultureMay 29, 2025 at 7:30:00 PM

Breaking the busyness trap in the office

[WORLD] Ever feel like your workdays are filled with endless meetings, overflowing inboxes, and urgent requests—yet you struggle to get your most important...

Ad Banner
Advertisement by Open Privilege
Load More
Ad Banner
Advertisement by Open Privilege