Helping toddlers sleep through the night

The hallway is quiet—until it’s not. You hear the rustle of sheets, the soft click of a door, then the unmistakable pat-pat of bare feet heading your way. It’s 2:17 a.m., and your toddler is wide awake again. This kind of nighttime wandering isn’t unusual. But that doesn’t make it easy—especially when you're waking up bleary-eyed, carrying a squirmy child back to bed for the third time that week.

Helping a toddler stay in bed all night is part design, part ritual, part developmental patience. And while every child is different, a consistent system anchored in intention can gently shape behavior over time. It’s not about force. It’s about rhythm. Let’s explore how to build that rhythm into your home, your evenings, and your parenting mindset—so everyone can sleep a little easier.

Before reaching for quick fixes, it helps to understand what’s behind the behavior. Most toddlers don’t leave their beds just to test you. They’re seeking something: connection, comfort, curiosity, or control.

1. They don’t know how to self-soothe

If you’ve been lying next to your toddler until they fall asleep, they may struggle to fall back asleep when they wake naturally at night. Toddlers who rely on a parent’s presence to transition to sleep haven’t yet learned to self-soothe—a developmental skill that needs to be built over time.

2. They need help

Some toddlers wake for practical reasons: a wet diaper, a too-warm room, a thirst they can’t yet articulate. If they’re potty training, they may need help getting to the bathroom. This doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” It just means their body and independence are catching up with each other.

3. They’re curious

Your child hears voices from the living room. They see the hallway light peeking under the door. They’re not tired anymore—and suddenly, it feels like they’re missing out on something exciting. FOMO (fear of missing out) is very real, even at age two.

4. They’re learning boundaries

One of the major developmental tasks of toddlerhood is learning what rules are negotiable and what’s non-negotiable. Getting out of bed is one of the most accessible (and compelling) ways to test that.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests transitioning from crib to bed around age 3, or when the child begins climbing out. But the right time often depends on your child’s behavior and emotional maturity—not just their height. A toddler who still wakes frequently, struggles to follow bedtime routines, or resists boundaries may not yet be ready for the autonomy of a toddler bed. Giving them that freedom too early can lead to more disruption—not less.

If you're expecting a new baby and need the crib, consider using a pack-and-play or bassinet for the newborn temporarily. A few more months of crib time for your toddler may prevent weeks of bedtime battles later. If the transition must happen now, treat the room like a crib—childproof it thoroughly, gate the door if needed, and keep sleep the only available activity after lights out.

Many toddler rooms are cute—but over-stimulating. When every wall shouts “play,” it’s no wonder your child struggles to take bedtime seriously. Instead, design their sleep space with these principles:

1. Use muted, warm tones

Soft earth tones or pastel colors send a calmer message than bright primary hues. Think linen beige, sage green, dusty rose—colors that support wind-down, not ramp-up.

2. Keep toys out of sight

Too many visible toys, especially battery-operated ones with lights or sounds, activate rather than soothe. Store them in bins or covered baskets, and leave out just one plush friend who “sleeps” with your toddler.

3. Add sensory cues

A soft rug, blackout curtains, and a sound machine set the tone for sleep. Scented elements like a lavender pillow spray can reinforce bedtime without overwhelming.

4. Mind the lighting

Use warm, low lighting after sunset. A small lamp, salt rock nightlight, or motion-activated hallway light helps orient your child without waking them fully. Your room design doesn’t need to be magazine-worthy. It just needs to whisper: “This is where we rest.”

Routine builds predictability—and predictability helps toddlers feel safe. But routine doesn’t mean rigidity. Instead, create a bedtime rhythm that flows consistently, even if bedtime shifts by 15 minutes some nights. A soothing routine might look like this:

• Bath or warm wipe-down
• Pajamas and brushing teeth
• Two favorite books
• Lights off, sound machine on
• One song or phrase (“Goodnight, sleep tight…”)

Avoid adding new elements every week. Repetition is comforting, not boring. When your child knows exactly what to expect, bedtime becomes less of a negotiation and more of a ritual.

Pro tip: use visual cues

A bedtime chart with pictures—bath, book, bed—can help your toddler take ownership of the process. Let them move a magnet or check off steps. It turns transition into participation.

Even with the best design and most thoughtful rituals, your toddler will still get up some nights. That’s okay. The key is consistency—not escalation.

Use a calm, brief script like:
“It’s bedtime. Let’s go back to sleep.”

Walk them back. Tuck them in. No bargaining. No lectures. No extra songs. The less interesting the interaction, the faster the behavior fades. This isn’t cold. It’s clear. You’re teaching that night is for rest—not for conversation.

Avoid over-engagement:

• Don’t ask why they got up (they often don’t know)
• Don’t cuddle on the couch (you’re rewarding the disruption)
• Don’t yell (it can activate fear—and delay sleep further)

Over time, your predictable, neutral response becomes its own form of comfort.

If your toddler’s on the move, safety comes first. Even a few unsupervised minutes in the wrong room can lead to risk. Here’s how to make your home safer overnight:

• Use baby gates or doorknob covers to limit access to hallways or kitchens
• Bolt tall furniture to walls in case of climbing
• Store cleaners, medications, and tools well out of reach
• Use motion-activated lights or dim path lighting in hallways
• Keep soft landing surfaces (like rugs or carpets) near bedsides

For some families, a floor bed in a Montessori-style room offers a safe, bounded space with more autonomy. For others, keeping the toddler in a crib until they’re developmentally ready for more freedom is the better path. Choose what supports your child—not what Instagram suggests.

Toddler sleep resistance often reflects emotional needs—not manipulation. Getting out of bed can be your child’s way of saying:

• “I’m not sure what’s safe when I’m alone.”
• “I miss you.”
• “I don’t want the fun to end.”

By day, offer extra moments of focused attention. Just 10–15 minutes of undistracted play, where your child leads the activity, can dramatically reduce bedtime clinginess. It fills their “connection cup” in a proactive way.

Also: remember that many toddlers process stimulation more slowly. A big day—an outing, visitors, a tantrum—can delay their emotional wind-down long after lights are out. Sometimes, the solution isn’t firmer rules. It’s a gentler landing.

If your toddler seems unusually sensitive to noise, texture, light, or transitions, sleep challenges may be more persistent. That doesn’t mean something is wrong—it just means your approach may need more precision.

Helpful adjustments include:

• Weighted blanket or compression sheet (if age-appropriate and advised)
• Tag-free, breathable pajamas
• Consistent sound machine for auditory masking
• Visual timers and picture schedules
• Limiting caffeine or sugar intake after 4 p.m.

For neurodivergent children, sleep may also be impacted by sensory processing differences or rigid routine preferences. Occupational therapists or sleep specialists can offer insight tailored to your child’s nervous system—not just their age.

If your toddler is getting out of bed multiple times a night for weeks or months on end, you’re not failing. But it might be time to adjust expectations or seek professional advice.

Red flags to watch for:

• Frequent night terrors or extreme distress
• Inability to fall asleep without physical presence
• Persistent early waking (before 5 a.m.)
• Signs of sleep apnea (snoring, gasping, pauses in breathing)

Start with your pediatrician. They can rule out medical causes and refer you to a sleep consultant or behavioral therapist if needed. Many sleep challenges are normal—but some benefit from structured support.

Keeping a toddler in bed all night isn’t about control. It’s about building a system—a predictable flow that anchors your child’s nervous system in safety and rest. That system includes:

• A thoughtfully designed space
• A repeatable bedtime ritual
• Calm, consistent responses
• Safe, accessible surroundings
• Emotional attunement during the day

And yes, that system includes grace—for them and for you. Because toddlerhood is messy. It’s loud. It’s nonlinear. But it’s also a season where the patterns you build—around rest, reassurance, and rhythm—become the scaffolding for years of emotional and behavioral development.

You’re not just teaching them to stay in bed. You’re teaching them how to feel safe in their own skin, in their own space, in the quiet of night. And that? That’s worth the patience.