Why feeling lost in a new job is the norm, not a red flag

[WORLD] A viral Reddit post by a Singaporean employee struggling just weeks into a new job sparked an outpouring of empathy and advice—suggesting a truth many professionals know but rarely say aloud: it’s normal to feel overwhelmed early on. While personal resilience plays a role, most early-career turmoil stems from unclear expectations and poor onboarding. Rather than seeing early discomfort as failure, employers and employees alike should recognize it as a predictable—and fixable—part of the adjustment cycle. In a tight labor market where retention matters more than ever, the “how” of welcoming new hires deserves renewed attention.

The Early Struggle Is a Structural Problem

The Redditor’s experience isn’t unique—it’s systemic. Many workplaces expect new hires to “hit the ground running” without ensuring the ground is steady beneath them. According to Rednax Recruitment, it takes three to six months for employees to feel fully settled. But few companies structure onboarding to last that long. In fact, Gallup reports that only 12% of employees strongly agree their organization does a great job of onboarding.

When new employees are left to sink or swim, the issue isn’t just a lack of hand-holding—it’s a failure of integration. Learning the unspoken norms, building internal networks, and decoding vague expectations all take time. When that support is absent, employees internalize the friction as incompetence.

This is especially true in fast-paced or high-stakes industries, where asking for help might be mistaken for weakness. In reality, it’s the absence of clear onboarding processes—not employee inadequacy—that creates early disorientation.

Culture Eats Onboarding for Breakfast

The best-designed orientation process still falters in a toxic or indifferent culture. Even if handbooks and training sessions are provided, an unapproachable manager or unspoken office norms can derail progress. The emotional tone of the workplace matters: Is it okay to ask “basic” questions? Is support actively offered or do you have to fight for it?

In the Reddit thread, what stood out was not just the poster’s anxiety, but the warmth of the community’s responses—“I felt the same way”, “be patient with yourself”, “it gets better.” That kind of peer reassurance is absent in many office environments. Too often, the workplace norm is to project confidence while silently struggling. This isolates new hires and feeds impostor syndrome.

Companies that encourage psychological safety—where vulnerability is met with support, not skepticism—see higher retention. Google’s famed “Project Aristotle” found that psychological safety was the single most important dynamic of successful teams. In this context, creating a culture where it’s okay to be uncertain is a strategic asset, not a soft skill.

Patience Pays, But Structure Matters More

The advice shared on Reddit was sensible: give it time, seek help, and don’t rush to quit. But there’s a limit to what personal endurance can achieve without structural support. Mental health and job satisfaction aren’t just matters of grit—they’re outcomes of job design and team dynamics.

Retention strategies often focus on compensation and career progression. But in reality, the first few weeks—what employees experience when they’re most vulnerable—are often the true turning point. A well-structured “first 90 days” plan, a buddy system, and regular check-ins can make the difference between someone staying or silently planning their exit.

Data from BambooHR shows that nearly one-third of new hires quit within the first six months, and the top reason cited is poor onboarding. This isn’t about over-coddling, but about ensuring clarity, connection, and confidence from day one.

What We Think

Too often, early-career anxiety is mislabeled as personal weakness when it’s actually a symptom of flawed systems. The Reddit post that sparked this conversation should be read less as a personal cry for help and more as a public mirror: employees across industries are being onboarded into ambiguity and then blamed for sinking. Companies that want to retain talent—especially younger workers facing increasing pressure and precarity—need to rethink onboarding as a strategic investment, not an HR formality. The emotional tone of a new hire’s first month sets the long-term trajectory. If we want commitment, we must offer structure. If we want performance, we must offer patience. And if we want to stop early exits, we must start with a better beginning.