How to work with a difficult colleague

[WORLD] Navigating a professional relationship with a colleague who harbours negative feelings towards you can be challenging. However, with strategic approaches rooted in emotional intelligence and clear communication, it's possible to foster a productive and respectful working environment.

It's essential to recognise that a colleague's animosity may stem from various factors unrelated to you personally. Psychologist Miguel Ruiz, in The Four Agreements, advises not to take others' actions personally, as their behaviour often reflects their own issues rather than your shortcomings.

A recent survey conducted by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) found that nearly 60% of employees have experienced tension with a co-worker at some point in their careers. Workplace conflict, if left unaddressed, can lead to lower productivity, increased stress levels, and higher turnover rates. Experts note that proactively addressing interpersonal issues can significantly reduce long-term disruption and improve team cohesion.

Strategies for Constructive Interaction

Maintain Professionalism

Keep interactions focused on work-related topics. Avoid engaging in gossip or venting about the colleague to others, as this can exacerbate tensions.
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Set Clear Boundaries

Establish and communicate personal boundaries respectfully. For instance, if certain behaviours are disruptive, address them directly but tactfully to prevent misunderstandings.

Leaders who model transparent and respectful boundary-setting often foster a healthier work culture. Employees who observe these behaviours are more likely to emulate them, creating an environment where professional disagreements do not escalate into personal conflict. This ripple effect can help mitigate hostility across teams.

Practice Active Listening

When conflicts arise, listen attentively to understand the colleague's perspective. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without casting blame, which can facilitate more open and less defensive communication.

Seek Common Ground

Identify shared interests or goals to build rapport. Even small gestures, like acknowledging their contributions or offering assistance, can help shift the dynamic positively.

Technology can also be leveraged to ease strained communication. Collaborative platforms like Slack, Asana, or Microsoft Teams allow for task-focused interactions that can reduce the emotional intensity of in-person conversations. For some professionals, this space can serve as a buffer that encourages objective, task-oriented dialogue without interpersonal friction.

Focus on Your Professional Growth

Concentrate on excelling in your role and maintaining a positive reputation. Engage in professional development opportunities and build supportive networks to bolster your confidence and resilience.

Moreover, managers play a pivotal role in shaping how conflict is handled. Leadership training programs now increasingly emphasize conflict resolution skills, encouraging team leads to address tensions early and fairly. When supervisors set expectations for respectful conduct and enforce accountability evenly, they can prevent workplace animosity from becoming systemic.

When to Seek External Support

If the situation doesn't improve despite your efforts, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a supervisor or HR representative. Documenting specific incidents can provide clarity and assist in finding a fair resolution.

Working with a colleague who dislikes you doesn't have to impede your professional success. By maintaining professionalism, setting boundaries, and seeking understanding, you can transform a challenging relationship into a collaborative and respectful partnership.